Altered Beast (1989)

"Wise fwom your gwave!"  It's Altered Beast for the Sega Genesis, one of the first games I ever played for the big black box.  Released as an arcade game in 1988 in the arcade, it was actually a pretty cool beat-em-up.  Not many arcade games let you play as peanut headed, muscle bound Roman soldiers beating the shit out of zombies, demons, and dragons.

It's like the Roman version of Lex Luger.

Only one year later, the arcade was ported to the Sega Genesis.  While inferior to the arcade, it is generally received as a decent port, particularly for the time it was made.  More often than not, it is seen as a nostalgic curio.  So how does it hold up today?  Let's dive into this beast.

"Power up!"

"Welcome to your doom"

Story- You play as a fallen Roman centurion revived by Zeus to rescue his daughter, Athena.  She has been

Kicking undead ass as Fozzie Bear!

captured by Neff, the Uncle Fester of Ancient Greece.  You may be asking, "What the hell is a centurion doing in Greece rescuing a Greek goddess?"  That's a good question.  I haven't the slightest idea.  What I do know is that your character is endowed with the power to gather energy from spirit balls.  Picking up three will enable you to transform into a powerful creature.  This ranges from the kickass tiger to the laughably stupid bear.  Each creature has their own unique attack.  More on that later.

Don't worry.  This boss is a total pushover.

Graphics- The graphics are average at best.  Remember, this was made in 1989, the very beginning of Sega's launch.  In fact, many Segas came bundled with Altered Beast.  Arcade ports like this, Forgotten Worlds, and Golden Axe were the springboards for Sega's success down the lines.  How do the graphics hold up today?  Not very well, but they've aged better than some old games.  Character animations are simple but relatively fluid.  Character and creature designs are unique and true to their arcade counterpart.  The backgrounds are colorful, but static.  Not much going on back there.  On a grade scale, I'd give the graphics a C+.  Moving on.
Controls- It feels like an arcade beat-em up.  You've got your standard punch-kick-jump combo on the D-Pad.  In addition, holding up and jumping enables you to do a higher jump.  Not too shabby.  In addition, you are granted special beast powers when you transform, including fireballs, a powered charge, arc lightning, and "super bear breathe" that turns your enemies into stone (What the hell?).

What were they smoking?

Music- The Sega Genesis is known for a lot of terrific things.  Excellent sound quality is not one of them.  Altered Beast is no exception.  Although it holds a special place in my heart, it sounds like it's being played through a tin can.  That's not to say the music is terrible.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  Altered Beast had some catchy music.  Here's the boss theme from the Sega:

However, the music doesn't hold a flame to the original arcade.  Another thing Altered Beast is known for is the voice-synthesis software.  I can't pretend that the voice acting in this game is anything but hilarious.  The very first thing you hear when you press the start button is Zeus speaking in an Elmer Fudd drawl, "Wise fwom your gwave."  To me, it just adds another element of charm to the game.

"Gomez!  Help me!"

Gameplay- The game plays just like an old school arcade.  A damn hard one, however.  You have three lives in Altered Beast.  As Revolver Ocelot said, "There are no continues, my friend."  You have three lives to make it through five reasonably sized levels, each with a boss at the end.  Not impossible, but very difficult.  It doesn't take much to die in this game, either.  Those undead ghouls throw out jabs like Sonny Liston, and they can do a lot of damage.  Keep your distance and kick those fuckers in the shin.  They'll go down faster than you can say, "Blast Processing".  

The bosses are pretty strange and require a bit of strategy to beat.  You've already seen the head-throwing demon and the eyeball monster above.  They're not too hard.  The third boss is some "Snail Dragon", but he won't give you much grief.  The ones you have to worry about are the fourth and fifth boss.  The fourth boss is some crocodile monster with a molten everlasting gobstopper embedded in his belly.  He'll shoot flames and little flaming imps that'll kamikaze your ass at the most inopportune moments, so you'll have to be on your toes and plan your shots carefully.  

He's dressed like Liberace,
but he's a tough bastard.

The last boss is Rocksteady.  He's an aggressive bastard, and he'll punch, kick, and charge your ass into the ground if you don't have sufficient health.  

Unless you're some sort of gaming wizard, you probably won't.  

Worth every penny.

Just like any good arcade game, this is two players.  This gives you a good opportunity to be a prick and steal your friend's power orbs.  There's no friendly fire, so you won't have to worry about accidentally lobbing a tiger ball at your friend's head by mistake.  It's a solid two-player game that I've enjoyed with many of my friends.    
Final Thoughts- Altered Beast is the jalopy of the Sega Genesis.  It may not look like much, and it may sound like total shit sometimes, but it has a certain charm about it.  Sure, there are better arcade ports on the box, but I can always fall back to Altered Beast for some bear blasting, fireball throwing action.  My only criticism is that it is a very short game.  Good players can crank this game out in less than 30 minutes.  More levels and more beasts would make for a much better game.  This game is as easy to find as oxygen.  My recommendation would be Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection.  In addition to playing the Sega port, you can also play the original arcade.  If you're a diehard fanboy, the original cartridge isn't hard to find.  Shell out a few bucks and start cracking skulls.

Rating (Out of 5)- ***1/2